Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
