dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
