ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize