You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
