i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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