what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
