who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
