this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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