I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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