Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
