i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i think my cat just said my name.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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