She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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