in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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