Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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