if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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