i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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