At least make sure they are 18
Why
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
