I'm gonna have a badass scar
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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