I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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