just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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