dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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