Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
