youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
