All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
