Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My life is pants optional.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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