You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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