she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
