So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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