how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
