Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
