Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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