he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
