just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
