Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
