So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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