i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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