well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
