I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
