That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
3 2 1 whiskey
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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