Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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