I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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