You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
