she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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