every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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