this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
