You're completely useless in the revolution.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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