Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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