just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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