why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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