it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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